I have always been an anxious person. Always. I have never been diagnosed with anxiety, but I can guarantee that one year ago, if I had gone to see a doctor during one of my moments, he would have prescribed something to me. Everything causes me to worry. And they are things that do not even directly effect me now, but I worry that they might someday: illness, global warming, having children before I'm ready, hating my career, divorce, my friends and family dying, that stupid zombie "bath salts" guy who ate a dude's face off (I seriously thought about that every day for MONTHS afterward). When I was 13, I vividly remember sitting up in a hotel room on New Year's Eve of 2000, my parents downstairs at a party, my brother already asleep, and I cried for the entire last hour of 1999 because I was afraid of Y2K. And I can't even talk about the year 2012...that entire year was was one giant anxious breakdown because of the Mayan's prediction of the world ending. Haha, yeah, it's funny, NOW... And it sounds so ridiculous to type out. I understand that those are all things that, even if they were real, I wouldn't be able to control. And I also understand I'm a grown adult and should be able to talk myself out of those things but I can't. Once I hear about some sort of disaster or horrible possibility (bee deaths, anyone??), my mind just grabs onto it and won't let go. It plays over and over like a song stuck in my head, my stomach knots up and I'm useless for the rest of the day, sometime longer.
And then I finally figured out some anxiety triggers: Too much caffeine (more than one cup of coffee) will quickly drive me into a downward spiral. And the news. I'm not allowed to watch the news anymore and THAT'S OK WITH ME (a bunch of Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers).
So NOW you're thinking, "Ok, so what the heck does this have anything to do with all your fitness and Beachbody stuff?"
Well, I am creating my perfect future. :)
I realized, JUST THIS WEEK, that aaaallllllll of those things that I had anxiety about were all in the future (I even remember crying to my dad when I was 5 because I didn't want to grow up; this has been a lifelong thing). Yes, we all die eventually, I get it. And sometimes bad things happen. But if I take care of myself, (exercise, get proper, well-rounded nutrition with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, unprocessed foods) I can do my best to avoid getting sick now AND in the future (not to mention that eating well and exercise boosts my endorphins and just overall makes me happier and feel good about myself). On top of that, I am helping people who count on me to be there for them, to be a beacon of positivity and hope, and that keeps me constantly focused on the silver lining. By reading personal development, which is a huge pillar of being a Coach, I am setting goals for my future to make it EXACTLY what I want it to be, and instead of wasting my time sitting around and just thinking about it, I am DOING something about it now, in the present, and moving toward those goals one step at a time, by living in the moment, not "someday".
All of those scary "What Ifs" ("What if I get cancer?" "What if I never get to travel to Europe?") are quickly becoming less and less scary, and more and more exciting ("What if I participated in a triathlon next summer?" "What if I was able to pay for us to visit New York, London and Paris by next Spring?").
And here's another Aha Moment for ya: While I was away for college, when my anxiety was at its highest, I gained 10 pounds (might not sound like a lot, but I'm not a very big person to begin with). And would you believe it that I did not even realize that until this week when my friend saw a few old pictures of me from that time and she said, "You look so different!" I thought that 136 was just my normal, adult weight now and was actually SHOCKED when I began working out and pounds started coming off. I figured I would gain muscle and stay the same weight, I had no idea that I actually had weight to lose! I'm down to 127 now and have maintained that for the last 2 months. I thought that my body wasn't physically capable of dipping below the 130s.
All of those scary "What Ifs" ("What if I get cancer?" "What if I never get to travel to Europe?") are quickly becoming less and less scary, and more and more exciting ("What if I participated in a triathlon next summer?" "What if I was able to pay for us to visit New York, London and Paris by next Spring?").
And here's another Aha Moment for ya: While I was away for college, when my anxiety was at its highest, I gained 10 pounds (might not sound like a lot, but I'm not a very big person to begin with). And would you believe it that I did not even realize that until this week when my friend saw a few old pictures of me from that time and she said, "You look so different!" I thought that 136 was just my normal, adult weight now and was actually SHOCKED when I began working out and pounds started coming off. I figured I would gain muscle and stay the same weight, I had no idea that I actually had weight to lose! I'm down to 127 now and have maintained that for the last 2 months. I thought that my body wasn't physically capable of dipping below the 130s.
This "Beachbody Fitness Coaching Thing" is so much more than just T25, P90X, PiYo or Shakeology. This is my ideal me. This is who I want to be and the direction that I want to go with my life. My happiness, my goals, my future and my NOW are why I am a Coach. I am happy. I am healthy. And I am ready for anything (even zombies. Have you seen my biceps lately?).
