**This was originally typed on Friday, July 18th, but never posted. I think it's worth posting to show that everyone has a point where even little things can get to be just a little too much. Or just as an explanation for where I disappeared to over the weekend.**
You know what I hate? I hate when you are completely overwhelmed by everything, but then when you try to justify it to someone else...you can't. And then you just feel like you're being a baby.
"Get over it," you tell yourself. "It's not that big of a deal."
But sometimes you just need time to reorganize, reevaluate, and regroup.
Today is one of those days, and I am happy to say that I called in to work and I have the day off.
So with being so overwhelmed, I have felt like I have zero time to accomplish anything. My new work schedule has completely thrown me off for some reason (I'm not sure why, it's the same number of hours I was working during the school year), I'm planning a bridal shower which is TOMORROW, my phone mysteriously landed in the toilet yesterday and is now completely busted (the water was clean, don't worry), which means I can't reach anyone without being at home and on the computer, I feel like I haven't actually talked to my husband in days, and we have no food at home! Scratch that...I just haven't been home to make any food in several weeks.
I'm not going to lie, I've only worked out once this week.
I've been trying my best to eat well, but I come home exhausted every single night, so I haven't been on my game 100%. And here's where you're going to think I'm totally insane, and something that has convinced me that I'm at the end of my rope: two nights ago I was so tired after work that all I wanted was McDonald's. I haven't eaten at McDonald's in months, but it sounded so good for some reason, and there was no way that I was going to cook dinner. So through the drive-thru I went, came home and completely demolished a Big Mac and some fries and was happy...for a little while.
When I woke up the next morning, I was not myself. I felt ok physically (no stomach ache, just bloated), but mentally I was not all here. I was unhappy, I was anxious, I was stressed and I actually cried. It's like hardcore PMS (Hormones in the meat?? Wtf, I have no idea!)! Honestly, I still feel that way and it's been a day and a half now. So anyway, that stupid hamburger is the straw that broke the camel's back and so here I am at home.
So I guess this is me declaring a mental vacation, although it won't be a total vacation because I still have a lot I need to do this weekend. But I'm going to be taking care of some things that have overtaken my normal priorities, which means I won't be available much for a couple of days. Don't worry, I'm still alive! (Just a little frazzled.)
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